As I’m preparing to have my second baby girl here in a few weeks, I’ve been doing a lot of looking back and comparing the differences in my mindset between my two pregnancies, and the expectations I set for myself and my unborn baby.
With my first, I read every pregnancy and parenting book I could get my hands on! I felt so prepared for every situation and I knew in my mind exactly how this baby was going to act because I had done all the research. Oh I was so wrong! Despite reading all the books, scouring the internet, and planning everything out I now see how oblivious I was to one very important fact: babies will do what they want!
Unrealistic Expectation #1: I read Baby Wise so my baby will sleep through the night by 12 weeks at the latest. HA. I followed this plan exactly and Reagan didn’t sleep through the night until she was 14 months old.
Unrealistic Expectation #2: I’ll be able to breastfeed exclusively, because my mother was able to and that sort of thing is genetic, right? WRONG! My milk supply was low for a long time, and we supplemented with formula for a couple of months. Additionally, Reagan had to feed more often (especially at night) because she wasn’t getting enough at each feeding. Eventually I was able to breastfeed exclusively, but it was not an immediate thing.
Unrealistic Expectation #3: My baby will only cry when she’s hungry, tired, wet, or bored. OR her belly hurts because she’s allergic to dairy and everytime she has your breastmilk it makes it worse. Which you won’t find out for months and will go almost crazy trying to figure out why your baby is screaming nonstop everyday.
Unrealistic Expectation #4: My baby will transfer from breast to bottle easily, because we started her on bottles from the get go. NOPE. At 6 weeks old my daughter decided she was smarter than us, refused the bottle, and made my husband drive her to my work every two hours so I could breastfeed her.
Unrealistic Expectation #5: My baby will crawl by 6 months, and walk by 12 months. This is the one that makes me laugh the most! I thought my daughter would just hit these milestones right on her own. My stubborn daughter started crawling at 11 months and walked a few days before she turned 15 months.
This time around, my only parenting plan is to wing it. I figure if I just go with the flow and see how my baby reacts to different situations, then I can adjust accordingly!
Ran across your blog this morning through instagram and love your perspective. I’m in the North Dallas area and also pregnant (25 weeks) with my 2nd girl. My first also didn’t get the “Happiest Baby” memo and got up at least once a night to 18 months.
My big unrealistic expectation – thinking I could keep handing all of the household planning/prep (the “mental burden”) without help – or without feeling overwhelmed – while working full time. We still work on this and I have to make a conscious effort to (nicely) share when I need help. Or I do like I did this week and lose my car keys (on top of the car) for days…a pretty good juggling too much sign.
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Congrats on your second pregnancy!! I love what you said about accepting help, I’ve made a conscious effort to do the same this time around! Even the little things like accepting help with unloading groceries or allowing someone to babysit my first makes SO much of a difference.
So helpful to hear this!! I’m sure I will be a planner as well but it’s nice to hear your take and advice!
Katherine | http://www.oneswainkycouple.com