This is kind of a sensitive topic, but it’s been on my mind lately so I’m deciding to write about it anyways!
A motherhood trap that I’ve fallen into a lot lately is accepting that I am enough of a mom exactly as I am, and SO I do not need to be any better than I currently am. The second part of that sentence is what I want to address.
There is a community on social media now that has NEVER before existed. A network of moms developing virtual and in real life relationships with each other that they otherwise wouldn’t have developed.
There is a movement happening–of spreading positivity, lifting each other up, and breaking the stereotypes and unrealistic expectations that previously existed amongst women, and especially moms.
We are using social media to conquer feelings of depression, anxiety, stress, and inadequacy. We’re opening up and sharing our struggles, and allowing people to see the behind the scenes of what happens in our lives. There is SO much good happening as people share their struggles connect with people who can support them through their trials.
However.
With all of the positivity and encouragement we’re spreading, we also have the tendency to inspire complacency.
OF COURSE we are enough as we are. God made us in His image and we are always good enough for Him. But that doesn’t mean that we should stop trying to be better, just because we are good enough.
“Our society makes plenty of room for complacency or laziness; we’re rarely surrounded by accountability.” Rachel Hollis
The trap I’m finding myself in is allowing myself to do less or try less because everyone is telling me that I’m enough.
I’m enough…so I can watch Netflix for few hours instead of picking up the house.
I’m enough…so I don’t need to work harder on my business because it’s good enough as it is.
I’m enough…so it’s fine if my kids watch T.V. and eat chicken nuggets again because I don’t want to cook dinner.
I’m enough…so I don’t need to get ready or do my hair or shower.
On my off days, when the kids are cranky and I’m exhausted and there are toys everywhere, it is TOTALLY fine to hang out in sweats, watch T.V., and get chicken nuggets delivered to my door so I don’t have to leave the house.
But on the good or even tolerable days, I hold myself to a higher standard. If I have the time, I want to use it wisely. Instead of watching 5 episodes of Friends I should make dinner, clean up the house, and take a shower. Instead of scrolling Instagram with no purpose, I should be connecting with people who follow and comment on my posts, and looking for ways to grow in that space.
We are in this life to grow physically, mentally, and spiritually. We are not designed to stay in one place for too long or to get too comfortable. We are not meant to have the perfect balance all the time. At our very core essence we are beings who desire to be more than we were previously. All of these traits are GIFTS, because how boring would life be if we just stayed the same from day 1 to year 100?
Don’t let yourself fall into the trap that I did. Give yourself GRACE on the hard days (or weeks or even years) but get yourself in gear and WORK when you can. It doesn’t matter if your accomplishment is doing the dishes or taking an online college course. Whether you make $100 or do 10 push ups.
If you’re in a rut, get out of it. Find things that give you joy and explore them! Pick up a hobby. Start a small business. Join a book club. Read a personal growth book. Pick one thing, then three things, then ten things to improve on and do them well.
You are always always always enough…when you are trying your best. Give yourself grace, and then get to work. Women and mothers are a force to be reckoned with, and I can’t wait to see what we all do next.
