I know this is ridiculous, but there’s a line from Sex and the City 2 that I think about often when I’m going through a trial or hard patch in motherhood or my marriage. I don’t remember the quote exactly, but Samantha says that she doesn’t feel happy every day in her relationship, but assumes that’s normal and asks her friends if they are the same way. Charlotte says she doesn’t feel happy all day every day but she does feel happy every. single. day.
I have a very strong ability to let my mind get the best of me–I frequently second guess myself, keep my feelings bottled up (I hate confrontation) and let one negative thought continue into a crazy downward spiral that leaves me feeling the lowest of lows. It’s crazy how much one little thing affects me, and I’m working SO hard on choosing happiness and not letting anyone or anything dictate how I respond in a situation, but it’s definitely a work in progress. And on those days (you know the ones) when everything seems to be falling apart and the world is just working against me, I think about my happiness.
I purposely find one thing that has made me happy that day, and it can be anything! That my kids slept until 7am, that my husband took the trash out before work, that it’s sunny outside, that my favorite song came on the radio, that I ate a really tasty strawberry, whatever! I just find something amid the chaos of nap strikes, food throwing, and temper tantrums to remind myself that something happy has happened that day. When I’m able to pinpoint something specifically, it’s much easier to continue noticing other things that are making me happy throughout the day and it’s easier to tackle all the crazy.
From there I constantly replay those lines in my head, it’s okay to not feel happy every second of every day but how blessed am I to feel happy every single day?! And honestly some days are so good that I do feel happy every second of the day, and that’s such a wonderful thing! Even on the days when my kids are little monsters and I swear I’m going to kill my husband I can find at least one thing that they’ve done to make me happy.
We are all in control of our happiness, we are in control of how we react to situations, of how we process information, and how we feel. Intentionally focusing on the positive things that happen everyday can serve as a constant reminder of just how much good there is in our lives, and how a little chaos and crazy is bound to happen eventually (balance in the universe right?!) If you aren’t feeling happy every single day, I encourage you to talk to someone about it, figure out what is lacking and how you can resolve it. I truly truly believe that it’s possible to feel joy every day, and we each deserve to have the maximum amount of happiness possible!