There has been a lot of talk lately about what kind of influence social media has on us, and whether it’s a force for good or a source of negativity. The topic of what it means to be a good mom has been on my mind lately, and I thought with all of this talk and Mother’s Day coming up that now was the best time to open the discussion!
My dear friend Lydia over at Lydia Louise Blog wrote a super fun post today about What it Means to be a Cool Mom, and when you finish up here you should definitely run over and read her post!
When it comes to social media and the influence it has on us, I strongly believe that we as individuals need to start taking ownership of our feelings. If someone is influencing you to have negative thoughts or opinions about yourself, regardless of whether it is intentional or not, you need to take responsibility and eliminate that influence! I think this is especially true amongst the motherhood community. For some reason we let ourselves believe that because one mom is showing off her clean kitchen on Instagram, that her entire house is always clean and she’s a superior mother because of it and we are lacking in every area of motherhood.
Come on guys, that’s ridiculous!
But it’s what we choose to allow ourselves to believe! And the more we tell ourselves these lies the more they start to feel like truths, and that is a dangerous game. So right now, while you’re reading this, take a pause and go eliminate all that negativity from your life!
Okay now that that’s out of the way, let’s get back to what it actually means to be a good mom. And not the Instagram worthy fluff that we loooove to see, but the deep down, nitty gritty, in the trenches of motherhood core values that make us good moms. I’ve decided to list the ONE THING that I think makes you a good mom, and three things that make me personally feel like a good mom.
TO BE A GOOD MOM, YOU HAVE TO…
Love your kids unconditionally. Notice that I am saying LOVE, not LIKE. I do not always like my kids, and obviously I don’t always like the things that they do. And I’m positive this pattern will continue as they get older! But I always LOVE them.
Do I like when they’re cranky or stubborn or refuse to sleep through the night? NO. Do I deal with it in the best way I can in that moment because I LOVE them? YES.
Am I a different kind of mom when I’m well rested, showered, and my kids aren’t challenging everything I say? YES. But when I haven’t slept in four months, my baby is teething, and my potty training toddler peed on the floor for the millionth time this week I DO NOT love my kids any less. I may not be as cheerful or energetic or fun, but I am still a GOOD MOM.
For me personally, there are some things that make me feel like a better mom or a mom that’s performing at my best level. I have listed those things below:
I AM A BETTER MOM WHEN…
1. I get my kids out of the house to do something fun. I take a lot of pride in the fact that I work extra hard to be able to fund Disneyland trips for myself and my kids. It makes me feel good to be able to do that for them. It makes me feel equally as good to get to Target for an hour for them to play in the toy aisle on particularly difficult days.
2. I have a tidy home. My sanity level is on a whole different chart when I wake up to a tidy home as opposed to a messy one. I am automatically calmer and therefore nicer to my kids, my stress levels are lowwwwer, and I am able to manage the morning chaos much better. Notice that I’m referring to a tidy home…as in the floors are clear of clutter and the dishes are put away. My house is RARELY clean, and it’s NEVER clean all at the same time.
3. I work on my businesses. I no longer refer to my work as an entrepreneur as a side hustle, I have bigger dreams than that and I am successful enough to refer to it as a job. When I have something to focus my energy on outside of my children, I have something to look forward to at the end of the day beyond being a homemaker and that brings me joy. When I can devote myself to building and creating something else outside of my family, I feel more successful, driven, and motivated in every area of my life, including being a mom! I truly love including my kids in my work, and finding new and creative ways to involve them in financially supporting our family.
I would really love for this to be a space where we can connect and give motivation and support for each other in all the stages of motherhood that we find ourselves in, so I want to open this to you! What do YOU think makes a good mom? What makes you specifically feel like a better mom? Comment below and I will randomly select one person to send a fun Mother’s Day surprise to!
AND remember to go read Lydia’s post on being a cool mom, HERE.